Share this podcast with your loved one who is going through this process with you. This will help both of you. Sarah Epstein is a Marriage and Family Therapist and her husband is a second-year emergency medicine resident.
They started dating when he was starting to study for the MCAT. Sarah is the author of Love in the Time of Medical School. We talk about how you can keep your relationships strong. In her book, she talks about helping keep relationships going through the stressful time of being a premed, being a medical student, and being a physician.
Simply go to www. From these comments, we will be picking five winners at random. Sarah explains that those that are significant others of others have a lot of challenges that a couple faces together and that the significant other deals with on their own.
Giving you a little background, Sarah is finishing up her training as a Marriage and Family Therapist in Philly. She started writing the book three years ago when her husband was a third year medical student.
He was on his surgery rotation, which felt like the pinnacle of all the challenges. She thought there was so much she wished she had known going into this process — in terms of what she can expect, how to understand what medical school looks like, what kinds of relationship issues would come out each year.
So she started putting all this together. She started writing her own experiences. She
Medical student dating attending mass conducting research about physician couples.
And she started interviewing other significant others of medical students. Sarah started dating her husband Brian when he was a Senior. They went to the same university. A month after they started dating, Medical student dating attending mass started studying for the MCAT. she got to see the whole journey — taking the MCAT and applying to medical school through now.
Brian is currently a Medical student dating attending mass year emergency medicine resident in Philadelphia. Being supportive, asking a lot of questions, and finding ways to spend time together when he was studying a lot became the key for them. They had to find ways to just be in the same room or spend time together where they could take study breaks.
They started to think of it as something they could face together. It was
Medical student dating attending mass team mentality. He was doing all the work, but she was cheering him on. Marking his progress studying made her feel like this is something they were going at together.
Sarah and her husband talked a lot. And over the course of the medical school, that was one of the fundamental keys to making
Medical student dating attending mass through each step. Medical student dating attending mass other processes of training, every Medical student dating attending mass is something different.
So they talked through what it means for him to do well on the MCAT. She also tells him her concerns getting to spend time together. And having that dialogue and re-negotiating over the last seven years, over and over again what their relationship is going to look like.
But it has
Medical student dating attending mass be balanced with having Medical student dating attending mass attitude of postponement.
They want to balance having that sense of the big picture but not putting everything on hold. For Sarah, Medical student dating attending mass much emphasis she has as the significant other contributing to the decision making process for the student is important
Medical student dating attending mass. At the time Brian was applying to medical school, they decided that their relationship was not far enough that she would have a say in where he applied.
So she played a supportive role.
When he had his acceptances, she helped him decide Medical student dating attending mass made the most sense for him, and infusing thoughts about what would make sense for them. Sarah recommends to think about where is your relationship at the time that they apply. Also, have that conversation with your partner
Medical student dating attending mass whether you should have a say. Who gets Medical student dating attending mass say where they go and what they do?
And this is the first taste for the partners of people in Medical student dating attending mass that medicine really does call the shots sometimes. Premed students are very protective over their ownership the process.
So they feel like they really own it. But I would love your help to look at the options. So be gentle about it. In a way, try to include the person by asking them what their thoughts are.
For Sarah, this is one of Medical student dating attending mass hardest parts especially for the significant other. Because medical school is rigid. You can be very lucky to get in all and feel like you have options. Sarah and Brian were actually long distance during his first year of medical school because Sarah was in Thailand.
And when she got back, Sarah moved to Miami not knowing anyone.
So she picked up and moved to a place where she knows no one to see if they could make Medical student dating attending mass work. And it was really hard for her, for
Medical student dating attending number of reasons.
So it was a hard decision for her. A lot of things have to come into play. Everything was practically new for them.
And one of the things that really helped them was before she moved to Thailand, she visited Miami and she saw his apartment. They walked around the medical school. So being able to picture it made her connect to his world. She was able to picture what he was doing and who he was spending time with. The hardest part for them was Brian not being able to conceive what her life was like in Thailand.
And being unable to come visit her to get a sense for her world was difficult. They also had to grapple with the fact that before they were long distance, they could pick up
Medical student dating attending mass talk to each other whenever.
So consciously times for them to Skype with each other was vital. They had to prioritize it, even if they were both tired or it was first thing in the morning. He had to miss an event or something like that. They had to put enough face time.
And things changed considerably. He came to Thailand over Medical student dating attending mass break and Sarah claims it saved their relationship. Sarah describes the first of living in Miami was harder on her than Bryan. At least they had set expectations when they were apart. They created routines to make sure they were talking to each other. But when she moved to Miami with a new job and in a new apartment, he had his friends, his routine, his support system.
And he had an exceptionally busy schedule. The second year was difficult since Bryan had to start studying for Step 1. Once again, they had to re-negotiate what their time together would look like.
And finding other ways to feel connected. Basically, Sarah ended up being the third wheel to medical school. What Bryan did for his part to make things work were a few things which Sarah considered as really vital. Brian was good at keeping her aware of what his schedule would look like. Or he had to go to an extra lab. Additionally small gestures became a lot more important like taking the time to take a study break and go out for coffee.
Medical student dating attending mass describes medical school as being very busy but there are points in the schedule that are less busy than other points. Or save up some Medical student dating attending mass in bank. He would leave her post-it notes around the house telling her he missed her. Being in Miami, Sarah says she was able to hang out with groups and medical students and describes it as quite an experience in terms of feeling a sense of alienation.
That would be how she would meet other SOs going through the same thing. She texted her and said her boyfriend was going to bed at eight. And she was setting his schedule to meet his so she asked if they could do wine at five. Sarah agreed of course because she gets it. So it makes a big difference to have other people who get that. In terms having a support system, Sarah says that anyone dating a medical student really needs Medical student dating attending mass tap into an emotional support system.
And that you might need a night out when your partner is studying. Find those specific people in your network. Not everyone is equally good to vent to.
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